I was not prepared for this

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We all go into motherhood with an idea of what it would be like and what we as mothers would be like.Some of my expectations have needed some adjusting. Thing that I was not expecting have happened, both good and bad.

I was not expecting that my toddler, at two-and-a-half, would already seem to be somewhat embarrassed by me.

I like to dance in the privacy of my own lounge. When I hear one of my favourite songs I just want to bust a move, although  I am by no means a good dancer. I have the co-ordination and rhythm of a stick.

But over the last week or more my little man has been telling me, in no uncertain terms, “NO MAMA, STOP DANCING!!” When I happen to bust a move. The look on his face says more than words can express. Previous, he always thought my dancing was funny or would join in and dance with me. Now I am not even allowed to hold his hands or get him to try it with me.

What is happening? Isn’t he a bit small still to be feeling and acting this way towards me?

I thought I had years ahead of me yet before I got “Stop mum, you are so embarrassing”.

But no, it’s happening now already! I am unsure of whether this stage will pass or if it will only increase. But for now I think, I will risk carrying on dancing when I feel happy and the rhythm is good and who knows, he might think I am cool again sometime soon.

How early did your kids start telling you to stop singing or dancing? How did you handle it?

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Stop the airplane!!

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Yesterday morning we took my husband to the airport, as he was going away for work again.We arrived early and little man spent some time with his dad in the play area before it was time for W to board his plane.

lookout windows at the airport

lookout windows at the airport

We walked him to the gate, as it is such a small airport the passengers walk to the plane on the tarmac themselves. F tried to follow W out of the doors and it took a bit of persuasion to keep him with me inside the building. As it’s always been our tradition when daddy flies out we waited at the big windows to see him board the plane and wait for it to take off.

The yummy food, sweet tooth was checking out

The yummy food, sweet tooth was checking out

As we were waiting for take off, F decided to inspect the delicious looking food in the cafe display cabinet and was not impressed at all that I would not satisfy his sweet tooth. I was tempted by some sweet looking things myself but decided against it as it was early in the morning still.

So I told him I will wait for him at one of the tables while he keeps browsing and that we will be leaving soon.

While I was waiting for Mr sweet tooth I started looking for my car keys. I checked both pockets of the nappy bag as it’s my usual spot for putting them in. Then I looked inside the bag. My heart stopped. I could not find my keys.

I started rummaging through the bag slightly frantically now. NO KEYS! I ran up to the check in desk yelling “EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME!!”  I must have looked pretty funny and stressed because all this running around made sweet tooth stop looking at the food and come running to me.

The lady appeared and asked if she could help me, no doubt wondering what this crazy women was yelling for.

The plane, getting ready for take off

The plane, getting ready for take off

I told her that I could not find my car keys and my husband who was on the plane had them and I now needed them.

She disappeared out the back, trying to,I assume to get hold of the pilot to turn the engines off so I could retrieve my keys form my husband.

Little man thought all this frantic running around and mummy looking stressed was highly entertaining.

I decided to look through the bag one last time, this time I moved all the clothes, shoes, toys, and wet wipes around and there in the further-est darkest corner of my bag I finally found my keys.

I rushed up to the desk, feeling rather embarrassed and yelled out again to the lady, only this time that I found my keys. I faintly heard her reply that she heard us, that we found our keys while I took little man’s hand and made a very speedy exit out of the airport.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Overcoming negativity.

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Over the last little while, I have been doing some thinking and trying to do some self improvement. I do not know if you have ever had a time, now or previously, where you feel like something needs to change. Where you look at yourself, and just try to understand yourself a little better and discover more of who you are, while finding better ways to deal with things that happen in your life.

One of these areas, and something I have always struggled with, is being negative. I am a worst case scenario person. When something happens I always jump to the worst possible thing that could happen. No matter what it is. I tend to be more of a glass half empty than full person.

For example my husband went away for work for a week when he started his new job. One day during the week I got a message from him after a day of activities. He text and said that he’s on his way home. So I waited and waited for him to come home. His camp was about a 3 hour drive away from where we lived. About two hours later and many phone calls and even phone calls to the local hospital, he finally rung back and said he was only going back to the lodge where they were staying, and not home to me and our then 3 month old. When I didn’t hear from him I already had him crashed in a ditch. I really do go to that level.

Another example is whenever there is thunder and lightning I duck down under the covers and already imagine our house catching on fire or the roof being blown off. Actually one night not so long ago we had a huge thunderstorm in the early morning. The thunder was so loud and rumbling it woke both of us up, ironically not our son. My first thought and comment to my husband was. “Do you think that’s Ruapehu (an active volcano, 3 hours drive form us) blowing it’s top?”

What I was imagining

What I was imagining

 

What was actually happening

What was actually happening

There are many more examples that I could list but I think you get the point I am trying to make.

I have so much to be grateful for. I have a great family, who’s super supportive of me. I have an amazing little boy and a great husband. We have a wonderful home, good health and great jobs. And yet I still find things to be negative about.  This negativity is something I want to conquer, not just for myself, but also for my family. I want to show my boy that there’s so much to be thankful for and to not jump to the negative like me all the time. I want to show him how much better everything is when you can look at it in a positive way.

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My plan to conquer this negativity is to keep reminding myself daily and as often as possible how good I really have it. I know it’s going to take  lot of hard work, and a conscious effort on my part daily, but I am determined to be more positive.

What strategies have you used that has helped you to overcome things that you felt you needed to change?

Daily prompt :The Kindness of strangers

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It had been a long day for my son and I. We got up early and had to take his daddy to the airport, for a business trip.

F always finds it  hard when his dad goes away.

We watched the airplane take off and disappear, and then he started to cry, “I want my daddy back!!” with big tears spilling down his face.

After a while F calmed down enough for us to leave the airport and get into the car to go and run some errands in town.

We then got invited to go around to his friends house for a play date. I knew my boy was tired but thought he would enjoy seeing his friends.

Going round to a friend’s house was the last thing we should have done. He  didn’t want to play. So we left and despite more tears he was asleep before I was even  out of the driveway. But I still needed to run into the supermarket.

I got him out of the car and carried him into the supermarket while he slept. Which is no easy feat as he usually wakes up, as soon as you take him out of his car seat.

I walked up and down isles in the supermarket getting all my things together and still F slept. I got to the checkout and couldn’t hold him and take things out of the trolley at the same time. I was still wondering how I am going to get my shopping out when, seeing me struggle the check out operator, came out of her area and unloaded my shopping. She even offered to get someone to help me take the groceries to the car.

I left the supermarket in tears!!!. Great full tears.

Now it may not seem like much to you. But let me tell you, if you’ve ever had a tired, cranky,sleeping toddler and someone helps you out, in any way it really makes your day.

I just hope that I will get an opportunity to make someone else’s day a little bit brighter too.

Jumping in puddles

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Winter is upon us and it’s started to rain, that all-day-long-soft-rain, that leaves huge puddles of water everywhere. Yesterday we ventured to town  in the pouring rain.

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 We started off strolling  through the shops in the mall and eventually had to make our way out of the covered mall to get to the bank. All along the way there were big and small puddles and my boy loves puddles! He stomped  through, and jumped in them having a great time. The smile on his face was HUGE!

After we finished at the bank we ventured further through town and found more puddles. He even went so far as to go down an alley way to get to a really BIG puddle.

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He jumped,stomped and danced through it until his little canvas shoes, socks and bottoms of his jeans were soaked through. I just watched him, with his infectious smile spreading to my face.

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You see as adults we always have places to go, things to do. I know I do. I always feel like I am in a constant rush to get things done on my to-do-list. But watching my boy, just jumping in puddles made me realize yet again that, I need to stop rushing and stressing myself so much and just enjoy life. Because if I don’t, I will miss the simple joy that comes from jumping in puddles.