Reflections

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I am a people pleaser. There I said it!  That is part of who I am. I will go out of my way to not upset people or to make amends before people get grumpy or angry with me. I do not like it when people get angry or grumpy with me.

I keep my mouth shut, emotions and thoughts deep inside, I don’t share them easily with anyone not even my husband. I have tried opening up but sometimes OK often I don’t even know the words I want to say or how to say them. That sounds a little crazy doesn’t it but that is honestly how it goes with me.

I want to be more open and speak my mind, and I have tried but I just sometimes can’t get over this invisible hurdle to actually do it. I promised myself when I turned 30 a few months ago that I would become more open and speak my mind but I have only done it once so far.

You see the other “thing” that trips me up is I am also way to concerned with what other people will think of me. Now I know that you shouldn’t go out of your way to annoy people and not do it in a malicious way. But just be who you are!

I am on a journey of self discovery. I am not sure if you ever “arrive” at a set destination in your journey. We all change so much during our lives and with the different things that goes on in our lives. Our experiences shape us but shouldn’t define us. That is just my opinion please feel free to disagree with me.

That is partly why I started this blog. To learn more about myself to become more honest and open with myself and others around me.

I hope you will join me on this journey and share your experiences with me.Image

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Daily prompt: Who I am and why I am here

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Who am I?

Well that’s an interesting question. I am on a bit of a journey to self discovery. I have always enjoyed writing and thought that blogging would be a good hobby for me to try my hand at. I am a wife and mother.

Why am I here?

This blog is my pathway to help me process  and reflect on my thoughts and feelings about things that happen to me. I also just want to share funny things that might happen  during the day with my husband and toddler. I want to find ways to encourage other parents on this crazy, beautiful journey of parenthood and marriage and everything in between. I want to laugh with other people and see the beauty all around us.

I hope you will join me on this journey.

An unusual question

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About a month ago while attending a family members baby shower, I started talking to a friend that I have know for years but because of circumstances haven’t seen for a while.

We were chatting away about life, work, and general small talk when  she suddenly stopped and asked me a very unexpected question. She asked how I was. She didn’t just want to know the surface stuff.  The nice pre-prepared answer everyone always give “good thanks” before rushing of to carry on with daily life. She asked how I was in and of myself.

She caught me off guard for a moment and seeing me process her question apologized for throwing me off.  It took me several moments to find the words I was looking for. How was I really? ME. Deep down in my heart and  soul.

Not in how mama me was, or wife me, or daughter me, or me and any of the other hats I wear daily. Just me. Thinking back now I gave the normal response. “I am doing well thank you”. But I need to reflect on this question more. We all get so caught up in our daily lives and finding time and energy to get through the long to do list of life that we hardly take the time to:

1 Really explore how I am!

2 Ask, listen and be interested in how other people are.

Her question has been on my mind for a while now and the interaction with her made an impression on me.

So my challenges for you and myself is this. Take a moment  every day  to really find out how you are, and what you need for that day. And the next time you meet up with a friend or even someone you may not know that well, and they ask, or you ask “how are you?”

Take the time to listen, respond and be honest. You never know it could just make that person’s day a little brighter and help them feel less alone. They might be going through a tough time and you taking time to listen could just be what they need. Who knows you may have been through the same situation and could offer some advice that may just make things  better for them.

I am still reflecting on this question.

So tell me, how are you?